Notes upon watching 47 Ronin

 

47 Ronin (2013) ...or Sidelong Glances, the Movie

• I don't want to mock cultures I am unfamiliar with, but I will. I had no idea Snoopy hats were trendy in Japan.
  

• I like to cite the 1980s as the shoulder pad era of fashion…
  
  ...but this guy took shoulder pads to a magnificent pointy high. It was as if he forced a butterfly collar from the 70s into an unholy union with shoulder pads from the 80s, and then harvested their litter of children for his wardrobe.
  

• Part-time guard...
  
  ...part-time Christmas tree topper.
  

• I was surprised to see the Hulk make a guest appearance.
  

• “When a wrong isn't avenged, the heavens look down on us with shame.” I'm okay with that. I'm not going risk my ass perpetuating death and misery to make the heavens happy. Screw the heavens.

• “Nothing will ever keep me away from you.” Nothing? What if she has stinky farts?

• I think the glowing blue sword means there are orcs nearby.
  

• At first Nuveena and Miette were quite feisty and chasing each other around. Soon afterwards Miette was excitedly chasing the laser pointer. This movie did not stand a chance of being more entertaining than my cats.